Finding a car is a pain in the ass, but I defnitely think that I found the perfect KOALA MOBILE! 

It's a '97 Toyota Camry. It's a really pretty Grey too, which I think is hilarious because every car I've ever had has been a shade of grey/silver and those are close to the colors of Koala's without me even planning it. 

Honestly, the color of the car is the last thing on my mind when it comes to finding one that I want to own, but it just so happened that I found one that best meets my needs and it's a color I like. 

The only problem is that I have to take out a loan because it's more then I wanted to spend.  But oh well, it will be worth it if it lasts me a long time like I know it will...

Honestly though, if I didn't get this car, I wouldn't be completely heart-broken.  It would just mean that I know for a fact that I can go back with Kinga to BG tonight and make it for Bowling league and a little partyin'...

UPDATE!  I went running for the first time in two weeks yesterday and like a dumbass, I tried to run like I haven't taken a break....oops.  I woke up today and I'm really sore and I only ran for 20 minutes...and it was hot as hell.  I couldn't breathe and I had to focus on something in order to control myself from absolutely needed my inhaler (since I forgot BOTH of them in my room when I left BG on Sunday...for the second time in a row.  Yes I am hot, smart, and you wish you could be exactly like me...).  Worst of all, my right leg is still fuct up and I think I need to take another week off just to be safe, but I don't wanna!!  

It's the hardest thing in the world for me to not run, swim, bike, or stay active. Especially the not running part.  During the year, I am running almost every day and I make my schedule around it because that's how I have balance and that's what keeps me from going insane. It's also the most important thing to me, and the one thing that I love more than anything... During the Summer break, I'm lost.  I don't know what to do with myself and I usually end up doing more bad things (mostly just drinking a hell of a lot more) than usual, just to keep myself entertained.  (Not saying it's not fun and I don't want to, but I'd much rather be running and doing the bad things in a normal healthy way...haha which makes perfect sense, don't ya think?) 

I can't take this shit.  I want to run, but part of me is saying just to hold out and wait...but when have I ever listened to myself when I have a good idea?  There's no use on starting now!  haha.  Just kidding, but seriously, I think I'm gonna go running right now...let's give it one more day on the road and see how it feels tomorrow...

I can't believe its 3am and I'm so tired that I can't even sleep...

Yea...I can't help it...I think I've been more wasted this entire week then I've ever been in my life...and I don't even care, even after the alcohol poisoning...

But lots of great things have happened lately.  For those of you who don't know, 2:19!!!  I can't believe it finally happened!!  I've never been so happy in my entire life...this whole track season...wow words just can't even describe...

Then it happened, I broke a promise to myself.  I got so excited to celebrate after MAC that I overdid it.  I did about 12 shots of 99 oranges in less than an hour...and almost died.  I don't even remember anything after the first 6...so much for never outdoing my 21st...and I haven't even stopped...I just keep going like a fucking crazy psycho.  And no, I don't plan on stopping anytime soon. 

I've reached a point way past Al-Koal-ic.  I think I'm slowly becoming an Alcoholic and I'm almost happy about it.  I just feel like I deserve to drown myself in the bottle/beer/whatever the drug in a mug is.  I just don't want to deal with things that I need to sober...and I'm not concerned.  I think it's just a phase...just like all the other drunk phases...it will pass eventually....and if it didn't, I'd prolly be ok with that.  I'd just pass...the fuck out!

Fuck it, I can't whisper things when I have a loud voice and a blunt impulsive personality.  I can't change who I am and I would never want to.  But what is with the shy boys?  I thought that I cut that shit out, but no...they still like me, but won't do anything about it.  I don't want to be the guy in the relationship.  I just want to be one of the guys...that's what I've always been and I'm almost entirely ok with that...

'cept I do want to be with someone.  But not just anyone.  And I don't wnat to do it just to do it.  Fuck that. 

So I'm an ass and that's not new, but I just feel really confused.  I don't want to hurt anyone, especially myself, but I don't know what the fuck I'm gonna do now.  I don't feel like I fucked anything up, I just feel happy and I want to laugh about it and not worry...so I think that's what I'm gonna do....

"Fuck it Dude, let's go bowling"