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Wednesday, 11 June 2008

Tuesday, 30 May 2006

  • Currently Listening
    Hybrid Theory
    By Linkin Park

    see related
    - "Points of Authority"

    Finding a car is a pain in the ass, but I defnitely think that I found the perfect KOALA MOBILE! 

    It's a '97 Toyota Camry. It's a really pretty Grey too, which I think is hilarious because every car I've ever had has been a shade of grey/silver and those are close to the colors of Koala's without me even planning it. 

    Honestly, the color of the car is the last thing on my mind when it comes to finding one that I want to own, but it just so happened that I found one that best meets my needs and it's a color I like. 

    The only problem is that I have to take out a loan because it's more then I wanted to spend.  But oh well, it will be worth it if it lasts me a long time like I know it will...

    Honestly though, if I didn't get this car, I wouldn't be completely heart-broken.  It would just mean that I know for a fact that I can go back with Kinga to BG tonight and make it for Bowling league and a little partyin'...

    UPDATE!  I went running for the first time in two weeks yesterday and like a dumbass, I tried to run like I haven't taken a break....oops.  I woke up today and I'm really sore and I only ran for 20 minutes...and it was hot as hell.  I couldn't breathe and I had to focus on something in order to control myself from absolutely needed my inhaler (since I forgot BOTH of them in my room when I left BG on Sunday...for the second time in a row.  Yes I am hot, smart, and you wish you could be exactly like me...).  Worst of all, my right leg is still fuct up and I think I need to take another week off just to be safe, but I don't wanna!!  

    It's the hardest thing in the world for me to not run, swim, bike, or stay active. Especially the not running part.  During the year, I am running almost every day and I make my schedule around it because that's how I have balance and that's what keeps me from going insane. It's also the most important thing to me, and the one thing that I love more than anything... During the Summer break, I'm lost.  I don't know what to do with myself and I usually end up doing more bad things (mostly just drinking a hell of a lot more) than usual, just to keep myself entertained.  (Not saying it's not fun and I don't want to, but I'd much rather be running and doing the bad things in a normal healthy way...haha which makes perfect sense, don't ya think?) 

    I can't take this shit.  I want to run, but part of me is saying just to hold out and wait...but when have I ever listened to myself when I have a good idea?  There's no use on starting now!  haha.  Just kidding, but seriously, I think I'm gonna go running right now...let's give it one more day on the road and see how it feels tomorrow...

     

Tuesday, 23 May 2006

  • Currently Listening
    Evil Empire
    By Rage Against the Machine
    see related

    I don't understand how anyone can lie.  Well, let's be real, we've all told little white lies before, but I am a very honest person and I hate lying.  I've never really told any serious lies that I can think of and I don't like when people do.  It just shows that not only do you not care about others, but you represent how you don't even know who you are when you are tangled up in shit that isn't real.  (My Track teammates can help me out with this one...)

    I guess the reason I wanted to express that is to say this:  I feel so much better being entirely honest with someone even if it might hurt them, then lying to them about something or avoiding them which would hurt them even more and make them even more worried. 

    I wish that in situations where I was the one on the other side, that those guys would've just been like, "Angie, you are cool, but I don't like you like that".  WOW...that is awesome...ok that's all I needed to know!  And not only that, but I think being real just makes it easier to be friends...but no...I rarely get that lucky in my little stupid situations--because of that other person not being straight-forward. 

    Yes it hurts to know that someone that you like doesn't feel the same way about you, but it hurts more to be avoided and wonder about what is going on like you did something wrong. 

    I know that what I;ve done in this recent situation wasn't entirely right, but it worked out now because of me being honest and saying the truth and how I felt.  I know that everything is understood now and I can proceed without worry or hesitation.  Friends are great things to have!  They are better then any relationship I've ever fucking had!  I love all my friends and I will love all my friends forever...and that's the difference between a relationship and friendship. 

    In a relationship--only two things can happen.  You either get married, or you break-up.  That's it.  In a friendship--anything can happen all the time.  There are ups and downs to everything, but it is definitely not bad to be friends!

    So on a side note, I'm gonna go to Justin's Wedding--as friends and with friends!  YAY!   Me and all my friends just hanging out and no worrys.  I'm so excited now that I've straightened everything out and I can't wait for it.  Even more so that I know that I'm not going to get drunk! The Al-Koal-ic is slowing down and trying to be a little less out of control...

    I also can't wait to go back to BG and have so more awesome times!

Saturday, 20 May 2006

  • Currently Listening
    The Rising Tied
    By Fort Minor

    see related
    - "Be Somebody" featuring Lupe Fiasco (yay my "Touch the sky" guy!), Tak, and Holly Brook

    I can't believe its 3am and I'm so tired that I can't even sleep...

    Yea...I can't help it...I think I've been more wasted this entire week then I've ever been in my life...and I don't even care, even after the alcohol poisoning...

    But lots of great things have happened lately.  For those of you who don't know, 2:19!!!  I can't believe it finally happened!!  I've never been so happy in my entire life...this whole track season...wow words just can't even describe...

    Then it happened, I broke a promise to myself.  I got so excited to celebrate after MAC that I overdid it.  I did about 12 shots of 99 oranges in less than an hour...and almost died.  I don't even remember anything after the first 6...so much for never outdoing my 21st...and I haven't even stopped...I just keep going like a fucking crazy psycho.  And no, I don't plan on stopping anytime soon. 

    I've reached a point way past Al-Koal-ic.  I think I'm slowly becoming an Alcoholic and I'm almost happy about it.  I just feel like I deserve to drown myself in the bottle/beer/whatever the drug in a mug is.  I just don't want to deal with things that I need to sober...and I'm not concerned.  I think it's just a phase...just like all the other drunk phases...it will pass eventually....and if it didn't, I'd prolly be ok with that.  I'd just pass...the fuck out!

    Fuck it, I can't whisper things when I have a loud voice and a blunt impulsive personality.  I can't change who I am and I would never want to.  But what is with the shy boys?  I thought that I cut that shit out, but no...they still like me, but won't do anything about it.  I don't want to be the guy in the relationship.  I just want to be one of the guys...that's what I've always been and I'm almost entirely ok with that...

    'cept I do want to be with someone.  But not just anyone.  And I don't wnat to do it just to do it.  Fuck that. 

    So I'm an ass and that's not new, but I just feel really confused.  I don't want to hurt anyone, especially myself, but I don't know what the fuck I'm gonna do now.  I don't feel like I fucked anything up, I just feel happy and I want to laugh about it and not worry...so I think that's what I'm gonna do....

    "Fuck it Dude, let's go bowling"

Friday, 10 March 2006

  • Currently Listening
    Hope
    By Twista (Ft Faith Evans)

    see related
    - "Hope"

    Do you know how hard it is to fake a smile?

    I do.  I've been doing it for 6 years.  I think I can count how many times on one hand that I've actually gone to work and enjoyed the whole time I was there.  When something goes wrong, your tired, hungover, or just annoyed, it's VERY hard to suck it up and put a genuine smile on your face for the customer...

    I'm not saying I hate my job.  Which in itself scares me because I feel like I should hate it.  The truth is, I actually enjoy it for the most part, but it is getting really old since I've been there since I was a sophomore in high school.  Today I realized just how good I am at pretending to be happy.  I got a compliment from this lady on drive-thru.  She told me that everytime she comes through and sees me at the window I'm always happy and that its rare to see in a fast-food employee.  It felt good, but at the same time, I WASN'T HAPPY.  I was extremely tired, hungover, annoyed, hungry, angry, sad, etc.  And I still managed to make people think that I was happy and give them good service.  Damn....I'm good. 

    But it made me worry, do people see me differently then I'm actually feeling all the time?  I hope not.  I try to make it very clear and open about the way I'm feeling.  I don't want to front or be fake.  I sure hope it's just a work thing. 

    Ok for a moment, I need to RANT  *rant mode ON* 

    Why is it that when you stick your hand out to receive money from people, they still insist on throwing it down on the counter or the window?  That shit pisses me off.  It's prolly on my top 10 of most hated thing that customers do.  Its disrespectful and it takes more time for me to slide the money into my hand. Fuckers.  *rant mode OFF*

    So I hope that I didn't make too much of an ass out of myself last night.  Oh hell...I know I did.  They shouldn't have free drinks....well....yea they should.  It was a good time.  Ass or not. 

    I just ran for an hour.  And I have to work at 6am....I can't wait to be back in BG again tomorrow night with my favorite girls!  Hopefully Sundays plans will work out too.....

    I'm HOPEFUL! la-la la "hopeful for today take this music and use it, let it take you away and be hopeful, hopeful and there'll be a way, I know it ain't easy, but.  That's ok, be hopeful..."

     

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FierceKoala4

  • Visit FierceKoala4's Xanga Site
    • Name: Angie
    • Country: United States
    • State: Ohio
    • Metro: mentor
    • Birthday: 9/19/1984
    • Gender: Female
    • Member Since: 12/4/2003

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About Me

  • I run Cross Country and Track at BGSU. I'm more of an 800 meter runner than a distance runner, but I love running so I do it anyways. I received an Internship my freshman year of college to work for Walt Disney World, and went to capture the magic in Orlando, Florida by moving there in Spring of 2003. I worked at the All-Star Music Food Court and Cosmic Rays in Tomorrowland at the Magic Kingdom. Some of the greatest and worst moments I've ever had in my entire life that can never be recaptured, but will always be in my heart and memory along with all of the friends I made from all around the world were given to be with that opportunity, and will never be forgotten in my mind. I work at the Sun Dial in Kreicher and am currently a threat to authority, one write up away from being fired! I hope to graduate this May with my degree in Sociology and Recreation. I hope to go on to grad school to obtain a masters and than maybe even try to go for my Ph D. We'll see...

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